Lots of women think chefs are hot. And that's just where the trouble starts. When I was single, I knew I wasn't destined to pair off with a 9-to-5 guy.
Sex and the single chef
Raised in a food-obsessed family, I imagined that a chef would be the perfect companion: a ripe, young visionary whose biceps were swollen from lifting gallon stockpots--anyone under 40 would do nicely, as long as he commanded a three-star kitchen. Still, an enduring fascination with restaurants and with the men in white led me back to the question: what's it like to date a chef? Women who've lived the fantasy report that having an affair with a chef offers the same risks and rewards as scoring a table at a buzz-inflated restaurant--it's thrilling, when it isn't maddening.
The food and sex connection, of course, is right up front. I thought it was so sexy. By most s, an affair with a chef tends to progress from hormonal surge to shared living quarters in approximately two weeks.
This man proves my hypothesis
Unless, of course, the chef is too exhausted to move. He told me later that he collapsed and was in bed for 48 hours.
I just thought, 'I guess I didn't make a great impression. Lovers who don't understand that working in a professional kitchen is as physically draining as, say, slamming granite on a chain gang--and that vacations are not an option--rarely go the distance. Groupies are another fact of life for chefs.
They get a lot of groupies, and they plunder those. Sterkenburg reports that when Robins does make it to a bar with her, she never knows who'll be sitting beside him when she comes back from the bathroom. Women think that men who can cook are sexy--add a little power, and it's irresistible.
Survivors report that the best way to cope is to make sure your boyfriend is maniacally busy no problem there and to regard the attention as confirmation that you picked the right guy. Kris Kruid, the live-in girlfriend and business partner of Jacques Torres, the pastry chef at Manhattan's Le Cirquefields e-mailed come-ons for him every day: "Women write, 'I love you'; gay men think he's cute; even kids will tell him, 'My mom needs a boyfriend. Aside from the problem of groupies, getting involved with a chef requires coping with marathon meals and the specter of getting fat.
Not at home "My boyfriend doesn't get cooked for a lot," reports Susan Spicer, the chef at New Orleans' Bayonabut at serious restaurants. It was grueling. I got sick, and I was dying to skip a meal, but I didn't. The biggest hurdle for women who can't resist chefs, however, is that this profession, which attracts lots of extravagant romantics, also pulls in its share of reprobates.
You can't be a tyrant at work and sensitive at home. In some cases, chefs offer charisma and little else. An American woman briefly courted by one European describes him as a parody of a cad. After they were introduced by friends, she came to his restaurant for lunch; he swept out of the kitchen, kissed her on the mouth and cribbed her phone from the reservations book. The last time I saw him, he was engaged, but he was trolling for women and doing drugs in a late-night place on Madison Avenue. Another American woman has a similar tale to tell about being pursued by an over-the-top Brit.
Sent to chef X by a mutual friend, she ed him for a Champagne-fueled lunch at his restaurant; by dessert, he was caressing her leg with his foot.
Order up! 6 sinfully delicious reasons to date a chef
He invited her to return the next day, ostensibly to witness the drama in the kitchen. After an hour, though, he took off his apron and beckoned her into the alleyway.
Instead, he led her to a nearby park, where things got steamier. Afterward, they walked back into the restaurant "through the front door," she says, "past all these people who were thinking they were eating his food.
She returned to the States; he became a hypernova. But for years, he would call her in the middle of the night. The sound of your voice is too much for me.
This realist makes an excellent point
Sex and the Single Chef. By Michelle Green Updated March 31, Save FB Tweet More. Close this dialog window Share options. Close. All rights reserved.
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